BELIEVING OR DOUBTING

by Idaline Prince

¹ How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

³ Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
⁴ and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
⁶ I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.

Psalm 13:1-6

Reality and perception both deeply influence our lives. We always tend to look at God through our problems and we perceive a big problem. But faith helps us to see our problems through a bigger and mightier God!

We are accompanied by a host of doubts and fears in the darkest hour, dead ends and times we feel abandoned by everyone. Doubts follow us like a shadow and as a believer, regardless of the extent of our spiritual maturity, it’s possible to reach a point so low we actually feel that everyone—even God—has abandoned us.

French atheist Voltaire on his death bed made a fearful statement, “I am abandoned by God and man.” David, a man after Gods own heart also utters a cry of despair in Psalm 13 “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?" Can a believer doubt? When life seems like an endless struggle, thoughts of hopelessness are fueled up and we begin to doubt God’s plan and purpose for our lives. Anxiety is meditating on the problems rather than the One who holds the solution. Though in the first two verses David broods over the problems and suffering, but he gradually shift his focus to God and cries for mercy, “Consider and hear me, O LORD my God; enlighten my eyes”. David felt as if God had turned His back on him, so he asked the Lord to turn around and look at him. Finally, he prayed open Your Word to my heart again, let me cling to Your truth.

The Psalmist ends the psalm with singing. David who was hunched over weeping and wailing, looks up and God answers and enlightens Him and David becomes aware of God’s omnipresence. He pens down many more songs of assurance and hope “Though I walk through the valley of death you are with me… Where can I go from your presence.. You watch over me..”

We can doubt as long as our doubts are turned to God and not about Him. David found hope in his dark hour because troubles and temptations always pushed him towards the Lord.

Let us not let our temperament; our emotions, our doubts, or our feelings usurp our rightful place as the Pilot of our life.